joi, 27 mai 2010

Scar tissue.

Finally out of my mental asylum. Good day to be alive!

The past month helped me regain control of my thoughts. Finally! HELLO BRAIN! MY thoughts at fucking last! I've kicked depression's ass and gave sadness a wedgie!
The only thing remaining is scar tissue. But I can live with that, although it looks ugly.

I'm succeeding in becoming a better man. I promised i'd try.

luni, 10 mai 2010

Simple things.

Hello world. I'm still alive, although I'm so tired. Indulging in all these vices, for so long.. it didn't help me at all. Neither have all the girls I ended up hooking up with. Neither the nights I spent encouraging myself that I'm strong and that I don't need anyone by my side. I'm sick and tired of this wild-child life.
I miss the simple things. I miss the colour in my life. All these shades of grey are too much for me to handle.
All these inner questions that haunt me each night, all this bullshit I'm so fed up with. I need a reason to carry on.

miercuri, 17 martie 2010


Did you ever feel it's all falling apart? Ever thought there's no escape from this circle of deceptions? Have you ever wondered how you'd feel if you'd wake up one morning and realise your universe is a fucking mess? 

Do you know what nemesis is? I'll give you a tip, ok? 

Nemesis describes one's worst enemy, someone or something that is the exact opposite of oneself but is also somehow similar. What if you end up stuck in a world in which you and your nemesis are one and the same?

Fuck, how would the thought of that make you feel? Seeing your other sides lurking and waiting,  just waiting for you to fail. 

How would you cope with that, eh? :)

marți, 16 martie 2010

Inner demons.

Days passing by, trying to exorcise all my memories, and wishing i could oppress my feelings and my selfishness. 

I never thought we'd end up like this. I never thought you'd sell me for a penny. I always thought we deserved to share another end.

I miss your smile, I miss your lips, yet I try to remain stone-cold. I was never good at hiding what I feel. I always thought you'd love that cozy feeling, that warm sensation given by the fact that there's someone that would do anything to make you smile. I wanted to make you feel safe and confident. I always thought that was your biggest flaw.

All this bitterness in my soul, this void which used to be filled with hope. It hurts like hell.

I'm trying to be a better man.

They say people come and go, and that's the way life is meant to be. I wish you'll realise what you mean to me. I hope you'll find it in you to kill my inner demons..